Saturday, March 28, 2009

Ask Sargeras!

Let us see what the mailbag has to offer...

Dear Sargeras,

What's it like being the only Titan considered "bad"? Do you and the other Titans ever go to T.G.I. Fridays and pal around or are you guys not cool anymore with the whole "fallen titan" deal? I mean, surely you must have some friends other than two billion demons and a girl with black chapstick? And if not, what do you demons do for fun? Is it average stuff, like play hockey, checkers, watch movies or do you guys do crazy stuff like TP somebodies home planet or corrupt an entire species? (Speaking of which, nice job with _most_ of the Eredar! [Velen for the loss]) I am greatly interested in your personal life as the Fallen Titan, Sargeras the Destroyer.

A Humble Dreadlord of National Azerothian

Your curiosity is natural, dreadlord. It is the tendency of all lesser beings to wonder about those vastly superior to themselves, not unlike the relationship between Earth's Trekkies and the demigod they call "Patrick Stewart." My own true nature is of course far beyond your reckoning, but I will explain these matters as best I can.

My relationship with the other titans can be...strained, at times. Reunions are the worst. I am invited, certainly, but can I fail to hear the disapproval in their voices when they refer to my "career" or - yet more disdainfully - my "hobby"? Ah, the subtle stigma of multiple genocide does not go unnoticed!

It does make me long for the days of my youth - alas! Traveling to a friend's galaxy to play beer pong with comets...making Dyson Spheres out of papier-mache...altering our consciousness by sniffing the gases of nebulas...these naive pleasures are forever barred to me.

Oh, there was indeed a time shortly after my "fall" (cruel metaphor!) when a former friend would still invite me over, along with the other teen titans, to watch episodes of Lost and take bets on whether the aliens were really time travelers, or the time travelers were really aliens. But the others' downcast eyes and barely-veiled jabs rankled me, and more than once I seized one of these mocking companions and hurled him into a sun with the force of ten thousand volcanoes. There are no more invitations today!

Regarding T.G.I. Friday's, there are none in the Twisting Nether, but we do have a Max & Erma's near the Andromeda Galaxy. The cheese of its cheeseburgers is made with the milk of the All-Cow, Audumbla. (We do not tell her where the burgers come from.)

Hello mister dark titan,

first: You are doing a great job, your Chatlogs are just hilarious.
Second: I got an idea for a little sidekick on your future chats. What if a WoW-player would manage it somehow to join the chat and flame Kel'thuz4d, because he just did not get his "Immortal", therefore not "Heroic: Glory of the Raider"-achievement and with that fact not the Black Protodrake, because after 3 hours not dying and concentrating in Naxxramas an offtank managed it to die when Kel'fuck7ard was at 3% hp...

I'd love to see this, with all the reactions, laugh and drama from the other legendary villians.

Yours sincerely,
Cyggs from EU-Rexxar.

P.s.: It happened to us.

Sadly, I have no idea what this means. I suspect it relates to a game you mortals play called "World of Warcraft," but I assure you my hands are quite full destroying real worlds without bothering about the virtual ones.

Readers - have a question for me? Ask Sargeras:!


Warraven said...

The second question means that some people were tearing up Naxxramas from top to bottom until Kel'thuzad decided he'd had enough of that. And ruined everything just to hear the bitter wails of defeat and frustration.

Sargeras said...

Thanks Warraven. ;-) WoW players know a lot more about WoW than we poor titans do!

A zombie with knives said...

To clear things up, Mr. Fallen Titan sir, World of Warcraft is a virtual reality representation of the plane of Azeroth and its surrounding planetoids such as the place now known as "Outland" (thanks to you of course.) You, your demon friends, and the Scourge are featured quite prominently in such shenanigans.

ivyleaves said...

Don't be coy, Sargeras. You are posting chat logs referring to your friends being dungeon bosses. You know more than you are admitting about World of Warcraft.

Jhecht Falcon said...

^ roflwaffles

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