Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Ask Sargeras! In which bullet points are used to great effect.

I'll get to the mailbag in a moment, but first, some miscellaneous items:

1. In very exciting news, the Scourge Chat Log has been adapted for radio - WoW Radio, that is, with the esteemed TotalBiscuit supplying the Lich King's voice personally. The "Scourge Vent Recording" will, I'm told, air on WoW Radio this Friday at 2:30 PM Eastern Standard Time. I'll have more about this on Friday, but just a head's up for now.

2. Dorn was kind enough to inform me that gay pride was not the only kind of pride on display at the recent Proudmoore Pride Celebration. And even better, he's provided proof! Click to enlarge:

3. This is the 101st CWS blog post, which just goes to show that if half your posts are haiku and some of them only have two words, writing 101 posts is, like, super easy. Follow your dreams, kids.

4. If you haven't listened to my awesome new theme song yet, um, why not

Anyway, there is only one reader e-mail this week. Does this signal the beginning of the end for the Coffee with Sargeras blog?! Well, I won't quit my day job. Anyway, let's get right to it!

Dear Sargeras,

I've recently been playing a game called Dead Space. Dunno if you demons have the wonderful contraption that is the XBox 360, but in the game some fellows end up cracking open a random planet. The aforementioned planet just so happens to have slavering zombie types in it that are hell-bent on destruction (I think you and their Hive Mind might get along, actually)! This brings me to my question; what peculiar things have you found whilst ripping apart planets?

Amaralith, Trollbane-US

Things I have found whilst ripping apart planets:
  • Dirt
  • Bilbo Baggins
  • Bright paper packages tied up in string
  • Lavos
  • Trillions and trillions of liters of molten iron
  • The sound of one hand clapping (it sounds like this: splortchzz)
  • Demons who don't follow instructions very well
  • Aaron Eckhart
  • The prison of Lord Xenu (yes, this is what Scientologists actually believe)
  • Candy and prizes
  • The more literal-minded employees at
  • Richard Stallman
  • Spelunkers
  • Millions of voices that suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced
  • Unwatched copies of the Batman & Robin DVD
  • Sandworms
  • The sound of my own twisted heart, beating, beating, ever beating in the night, relentless and terrible, crying out there shall be no escape from these crimes, death is no penance for what you have done and I know it's just a dream but oh, it burns, that sound, it burns like the yearning of hunger and the smoking craters of unfulfilled dreams and...

Hm. Maybe I should get some sleep.

Remember, if you'd like to ask Sargeras a question, just drop me an e-mail! Every third e-mailer gets 10,000 gold absolutely free!*

*not true


gmon said...

scourge vent ftw! will they be creating new content or shall they follow your epic lead?

Sargeras said...

It'll be a pretty straight adaptation, with just a few concessions to the audio format. 99% the same.

Idlecide said...

Aw, someone beat me to the punch! Some of my friends and I have been planning to record the Logs for quite a while. I'll let you know if we ever actually get around to it...

Rat said...

Did you find any copies of the old E. T. video game for the Atari 2600?

Anonymous said...

Yay references to CT and xkcd!
Also, spelunkers? Try

Anonymous said...

Woot for Chrono Trigger goodness! Made me lol irl when I read that part, that and the "Unwatched copies of the Batman & Robin DVD". Love it!

Sargeras said...

@ idlecide: Please do. Alternate interpretations are always welcome!

@ Rat: Yeah, right beside the piles of Superman 64 and Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing.

@ bfg & Leochica: Is there anyone who *doesn't* love Chrono Trigger? I think that means you're a terrorist.

Anonymous said...

Hmm, sandworms. I hear that's a nasty problem, hard to get rid of.

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