Sargeras's Busy Day

Gosh, aren't bunny rabbits delightful?

I think I will never grow tired of feeling just how soft and fuzzy they are. Their warm fur and cute bunny rabbit noses make me giggle with happiness whenever I pet them. And I'm pleased to say today was another very productive day for the Bunny-Petting Legion, as we traveled to two planets and petted over eighty thousand bunny rabbits between us.

I awoke bright and early to the sound of bluebirds twittering in the trees, which reminded me right away that I needed to post to my own Twitter feed. If only there were some way to Twitter while I sleep, so I wouldn't have to go eight hours without a tweet! Here's what I tweeted:

"I wish there were even more bunny rabbits in the galaxy so I could pet them, too!"

After my 7:00 tea, I had Kil'jaeden give me a manicure; it wouldn't do to have those nails get dirty or (heaven forfend) turn into claws. I perused the latest Precious Moments catalogue and had one of my demon friends make yet another donation in my name to the Charity for the Utopia Terra Establishment (CUTE), a fund dedicated to making every planet a paradise.

But of course, it's not enough to sit by and donate. I have to get out there and help make it happen with my own lavender-scented hands!

So at 9:00 sharp, I tweeted our first destination to all my helper demons, and we descended en masse to the Rocky Moon of Magmagon VI. Not a very happy place, let me tell you - their TV selection was so limited, I had to miss watching The View! But that's okay - we made everything better in a hurry. We planted petunias, lit scented candles, and cleaned up all that nasty lava. A few spritzes of Febreze took care of the smoky odor, and then it was picnic time!

In between petting the bunnies, we set up a very agreeable buffet of all-vegan cuisine, featuring a splendid pièce de résistance - a block of tofu sculpted into the shape of the Arc de Triomphe! By this time the smoke had quite cleared, allowing beautiful TV reception, so we put on the Lawrence Welk Show for the remainder of the dinner.

Then it was off to Azeroth, which is my very favorite place to visit because all the races live in such perfect harmony. We visited my good pal, Arthas the Lunch King, though of course it was too late for lunch - so we had dinner instead! As we dipped our strawberries in the chocolate fountain and petted even more bunny rabbits, I looked out from the peak of Nicecrown Citadel over the wide fields of Northglen, and suddenly I was struck by an incredible thought:

Bunnies really are soft, aren't they?

All too soon we left that homey abode, promising Arthas we would return to see him again next week. Of course, he wouldn't let us leave without taking a few gallons of his prized milk and honey - the latter made from his colonies of stingless honeybees. What a guy!

My bubble bath was waiting for me back home, and a good thing too - after such a busy day, I was beginning to perspire! Fortunately I was ship-shape in no time, with the help of my bath candles and oils - and of course no bath is complete without the tranquil accompaniment of Enya. By the time I was done, my fingers and toes were all pruney! That always makes me laugh.

Then it was bedtime, so I picked out my silk pajamas with the little doves on them and slipped into my waterbed, where I was sure to dream about the soft mews of baby kittens, and the gentle murmur of the sea. I could hardly wait to wake up again the next morning for another day of adventure!

Oh, by the way, today is the last day of the Sonnet Contest, so make sure you e-mail me your entry by midnight Eastern Standard Time tonight! I mean, if you're into that kind of thing. Me personally, I think poetry is so pedestrian, don't you?

LOBSMAARP: 0% (who could sue someone as wonderful as me?)