Friday, April 17, 2009

Which is the hottest?


UPDATE: Take it round by round if you wish, but what I'm really asking is who wins overall.

UPDATE 2: I'd be remiss if I didn't share this hilarious response from commenter "Ben" below.


Ailis said...

Burning Legion, Patrick Dempsey, Earl Grey Tea, Jessica Alba (hands down)

Tyashki said...

Burning Legion, George Clooney, Earl Grey Tea, Jessica Alba.

Molinu said...

I'm going to skip the blow-by-blow round descriptions and go straight for the finals.

The contenders will be Fires of Mount Doom vs. The Burning Legion.

George, Patrick, Jessica, and Natalie are all quite impressive, yes, but you pit any of them against either Mount Doom or the Burning Legion and you just end up with this charred mostly-organic mess.

Salsa... sorry. Impressive, but not planet (or even major landmass) destroying. Tea... just no. I suppose you might be able to sue somebody if you accidentally scald yourself or something.

It's a close fight, but I think the Fires of Mount Doom come out on top. They don't have the same scope as the Burning Legion, but the Legion itself is burdened down with more than its share of lukewarm rejects. Sorry Sargeras, but the hiring practices really went down the tubes once you took a leave of absence. Mount Doom also has some nice mystique going for it, what with the connection to the "One Ring" and all. It managed to hold the sustained focus of the protagonists through the entire series, while the Burning Legion keeps getting one-upped by the latest expansion villain. Plus, Mount Doom melted Gollum, so it's got comedy value going for it as well. Burning Legion almost pulls it off due to sheer scale and ambition, but it's just not enough.

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna have to say... you are, Lord Sargeras.

Sargeras said...

@ Ailis & Vit: Oh dear...Captain Picard's poor tongue! But I think he's tough enough to handle it.

@ Molinu: Hm...I suppose it really boils down (ha!) to whether "hottest" means "having the highest temperature" or "having the greatest overall amount of heat." English language ambiguity FTL! Ah, Internet, is there any subject you can't pick apart needlessly? (On a side note, does anyone else think it's odd that FTL stands for both "For The Loss" and "Faster Than Light"? It really has been a rough day for Picard.)

@ bigfootgolem: sweet!! Still gonna kill ya though. ;-)

Unknown said...


Warraven said...

I'm gonna go with The Burning Legion mostly to contradict Molinu. Also, The Flames of Mount Doom - over. Done with. They made the movies, the Ring got melted, the bad guy's eyeball got toppled and sold to goblins to scrap and reuse in shaman tier 7.5 shoulder armor.

Burning Legion? May not have as impressive a track record, but they're still around and still relevant.

Anonymous said...

I think it would come down to a Kirk/Spock-esque death-match between Natalie Portman and George Clooney...

Sargeras said...

@ Ben: ROFLMAO!! You, sir, are awesome.

@ Warraven: Appreciate it. Nice to see a little solidarity on my own blog.

@ Anonymous: You have no idea how much I would pay to see that.

Warraven said...

Solidarity? Wait, did I say I -support- the Burning Legion? No, not in the least. I can't keep track of how many demons I've killed, ripped their head off, and left on the top of Aldor Rise. I just recognize that they're more of a threat than Sauron's Mount Doom. I mean, a piece of his eyeball currently decorates my shoulders and serves as a nightlite in a pinch. How do I take that seriously?

Therefore: most dangerous = hottest, as it has the most potential to turn Azeroth into a burning chunk of coal.

Red said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Red said...

I've gotta side with Ben. Mt. Doom? Crumpled like a bitch when the hobbit destroyed his bling.

Habanero salsa is the only other thing that could've possibly won this, as even the Big Bad All-Seeing Eye would've needed to run for the sink if he got it in there. End of story.

But when the captain couldn't get his tea? Shit hit the fan. He had engineers getting on that right away. Because Earl Grey doesn't dare show up as anything except HOT.

Molinu said...

@Warraven: That's kinda my point. Mount Doom manages to cast a pall of, well, DOOM when the Burning Legion seemed like it was just there to let us farm Aldor rep. I mean, yeah, the legion's got some certifiable badasses working for it, but it's bogged down by some real losers too. Mount Doom might not have lasted as long, but it had an admirable purity of focus.

Oh, and it caused one of the most enjoyable movie explosions of all time. So props there, too.

Eyra said...

I say the tea, sorry to say. >.>
Tasty tasty tea.
Did I mention I'm drinking earl gray tea right now?

Shanarah said...

Have to agree with Ben... Sorry luv.

Sargeras said...

@ Red: Why do you think he was so pissed at the Borg? While he was Locutus, they fed him lukewarm tea.

@ Eyra & Tracy: That's okay...I'm not upset or anything. Not like Titans have feelings too. :-(

Derek said...

Tea, Earl Grey.

You may be hot, Mister, but Picard would roflpwn you.


Pinkfinger said...

I know this is older, but I must contribute.

Final will be Burning Legion and Jessica Alba;
the winner depends on which version of Jessica Alba we're talking about.

Dark Angel Jessica Alba: skills and good looks to boot. She is destroy everything.
Current, Mommy Jessica Alba: still has the good looks, but Mommy-caring does not match the Burning Legion's awesome.

Anonymous said...

Incidentally, the Bhut Jolokia pepper from India is hotter than the habanero, according to the Guinness Book of World Records.

Mind, either one is certainly going to lose to the Burning Legion in that bracket, but I'm just saying.

Anonymous said...

Well, I vote for Sargy as long as you have better hair than Patrick Dempsey. *swoon*

Your faithful, subservient, worshipful, boob-laden minion.

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