Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Ask Sargeras! In which I reveal my personal soundtrack.

I'll start by drawing your attention to the poll in the upper right. Your feedback is appreciated!

Okay, moving on...

How does Blizz contact you to inform you of plot occurences or alterations they feel you should be aware of?

Do they send mail, or just whisper you?
Are there even Mailboxes in the void?
How do mail gnomes deliver mail to your hypothetical mailbox in the void?

~ Dazer (Nordrassil)

Michael Morhaime, the president of Blizzard, dons the Cloak of Rabelais at 3 AM, draws a pentagram on the eastern wall of his bedroom, and chants his message to me six times. Then he sprinkles hog's blood on his shoulders, dances about chortling like a jackal, and finally rends his garments and sprints nude across the vast meadows of his mansion, screaming "Alea iacta est!" to anyone who will listen. They find him three days later, working as a stable hand named Jose in a nearby ranch, and the process begins anew.

No, really.

Sometimes he e-mails me.

Dear Sargeras.

I have seen several people offering to be your left hand. I want to throw my name out there.

I, Sunetra the disgruntled Blood Knight can be your left hand, even if that includes Bum Scratching. I mean, bum scratching seems a small price to pay for getting to kill things right?

Salary Requirements: 1 Naaru to yank the light out like the good old days. I was so bummed when Kael'thas stole the last one, and then Lady Liadrin went all Hippie on me and wants us to use the light willingly. Tell me, Do you have tabs on where Kael'thas is? I mean, could you bring him back from the dead for me? I'm not done kicking his teeth down his throat.

Mission statement: Well, Currently it's: I want to smash things, Kill Yogg-Saron, Dance on his corpse in my twilight cultists outfit with my Skullflame shield and Quel blade screaming about how I will be the end of Azeroth.
Once I have done this, I will farm said boss until the next raid, where I will smash the raid, Dance on the corpse of the last boss in my twilight cultists outfit with my Skullflame shield and Quel blade screaming about how I will be the end of azeroth. I will continue to do this until I. Sunetra. The Blood Knight. Have sundered Azeroth and sit atop Hyjal and smell the decimation as it clings to my nostrils. Once I have re-created azeroth in my own vision, I will hop on a ship, fly to outer space, meet up with dr. weir, have my eyes removed and scream "DO YOU SEE!?" At Lawrence Fishburn until he blows me to hell.

It could easily be changed to: I want to smash worlds, kill beings, dance on their corpses in my Twilight Cultists outfit (it's quite roomy) with my Skullflame Shield and Quel Blade (think you could make it all... 'flamey' for me?) screaming about how the Burning Legion will be the end of everything. I will destroy worlds and dance like this until I. Sunetra. The Blood Knight. have sundered the Universe in the name of Sargeras and sit atop a piece of debris and smell the decimation as it clings to my nostrils. Once Sargeras has re-created the universe in his own vision, I will hop on a ship, fly to outer space, meet up with Dr. Weir have my eyes removed and scream "DO YOU SEE!" at Lawrence Fishburn until he blows us both back home.

Qualifications: I get the job done. You tell me to go kill something? I'm going to come back successful. The only thing to elude me was Killie, and that's because i didn't have enough time to get to him before I needed to move on and kill some scourge. (I'm a paladin. They said scourge, and I said I'm SOOOO fracking there).

Thanks for your consideration,
One angry Blood Knight.


Greetings. First off I concur with you abandoning the titans and going off on a rampage on your own. They can be lousy employers, for sure. But also,

wat r ur keybinds n macrows dude? i mean i cna use my own but u do liek craizy damage an its hawd dpsing sometimse so i thout i shud ask!

My thoughts go out to you, hopefully Azeroth shall crumble in due time.

Sincerely, bored dude. :)

Thanks for the question! However, I must sadly repeat what I have said before - neither I nor my webservant actually play WoW, so I must confess I am quite ignorant in these matters. I'll get back to you when I know more of macros than a novice in a nunnery.

Dear High Lord of Terrorness,
you are so cool (well, not literally) we named our server after you. It runs under linux and we decided to use it as a file server for our cat content (photos etc).
In the last few days I wondered which superuser you'd prefer? And is "kill all humans" a good password, or is that too short-sighted?
a mortal

Can't say I know much about Linux, as I run Windows Vista at home (spare me the comments - I am evil, you know). As far as logins, though, I've always been partial to "Sargerat0r" as a user name, or perhaps "MakingLightOfDark" if you don't mind a little extra typing. If all else fails, a simple "SARGERAS" works nicely.

For a password, yes, I must say that "kill all humans" is a bit myopic. Why leave out the dragons, or those delicious elves? Besides, a password should be something hard to guess. Why not "LaughingBunny" or "LavenderHyacinth"? Or, for added security, you could use something I haven't posted on the web for thousands of people to read. ;-)

Oh great and mighty lord of darkness and destruction,

I was listening to a song (Titan, by Brave Saint Saturn) and it occurred to me to wonder whether you have any song(s) that you like to crank up whilst going about the business of decimating worlds and destroying solar systems. What are they? And what sort of music-playing devices are there to be had in the Twisting Nether?

Hoping you don’t destroy me before I find out the answer!


Excellent question. My top ten world-destroying songs appear below.

1. We Will Rock You (Queen)
2. Summer Overture (Requiem For a Dream soundtrack)
3. Breaking the Habit (Linkin Park)
4. Liberi Fatali (Nobuo Uematsu)
5. Hymn to Red October (Basil Poledouris)
6. I'm Henry the Eighth I Am (Herman's Hermits)
7. Neodammerung (Matrix Revolutions soundtrack)
8. Rockstar (Nickelback)
9. Second Movement, Symphony No. 7 (Ludwig van Beethoven)
10. What a Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong)

As to how I play them, I, uh, put them on my iPod. ;-)

Have a question for Sargeras? Send it in! I mean, what's the worst that could happen?



Anonymous said...

sargy sargy sargy.

i just lost all respect for you, more importantly, all fear of you. i mean....really, who could fear someone who thinks linkin park is worth listening to while you destroy things.

unless you're listening to it because it angers you.

well, no, either way, just sort of sad.

Sargeras said...

Ah, well, you can't please everyone I suppose. Although I expected Nickelback would be the one people would take issue with - "too mainstream," don't you know.

Tirion Fordring said...


Damn. Your screwed.

Dynamitrios said...

there are some good songs missing.
Btw. Linkin Park? Nickelback? Meeeeeh

"I dont want to set the world on fire" by the Ink Spots (which is so much about you^^)


"Its the end of the world as we know it" by R.E.M


"Jesus is just allright with me"

by the Doobie Brothers

Non Serviam

Dynamitrios said...

Also i have a question for your Blog

"What does a world destroying titan believe in ?"

Is there a higher beeing you worship? (except of yourself of course, which is not faith but narcisism)

Anonymous said...

Nickleback? You're evil has reached new and even more disturbing depths.

Sargeras said...

lol @ all the people bitching about Nickelback. Say what you want, Rockstar is a great song.

Anonymous said...

9. Second Movement, Symphony No. 7 (Ludwig van Beethoven)

^ Definitely agree with this one.

Eyra said...

Aww Sargie...just ignore them. They'll be listening to Nickelback when you come destroy us <3

Warraven said...

So when you're busy pounding the Rocky Mountains into dust I can expect to hear We Will Rock You blasting across the skies? Do you sing along?

Cody Albert said...

Holy crap, someone else listens to Brave Saint Saturn?


Anonymous said...

nickelback isn't actually bad. they're not good, but they're ignoreable.

what you really need on that list is some Dethklok.

Anonymous said...

Whaaaat, no "O Fortuna" (from "Carmina Burana" by Carl Orff)??? Alas... I always thought Azeroth would go out that way.

Sargeras said...

@ Arthas: Who knew the Lich King had such good taste in music? :-)

@ Eyra: Damn straight.

@ Warraven: Yes...and yes. Consider yourself warned.

@ Cody: I've actually never heard of Brave Saint Saturn. Sounds like I need to check them out, eh?

@ arallion: O Fortuna is on my world-destroying playlist too. That's the problem with top ten lists...stuff always gets left off.

Anonymous said...

I'm disappointed that you didnt have the song Still Alive on that list, but at least something of Uetmatsu made it there. I thought Still Alive would've been your type of song, Dark Lord.

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