Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Ask Sargeras! In which spelling is fundamental.

We begin today with the best e-mail I got all week. It was not a question, but a picture, snapped from the camera of the esteemed Risqtish:

These are indeed the Burning Legion Super Tasty Ultimate Cookies, made by the hands of Risqtish herself. I'm told that is her Murloc, too. Thanks, Risqtish!

Right. Onward!

In my time as a Paladin, fighting off your minions, the Scourge, the
Scryers, etc, I have seen some pretty fierce warriors. One of which
holds the title of the Walker, Texas Ranger. I beseech your mighty
Titan-ness, who would win: Yours truly, the Titan, or Chuck Norris,
equipped with a Krol Blade?

Grand Protectorate of the Aldor
Varla Blaydes
Keeper of the Blog of the Grand Protectorate of the Aldor.
  • Sargeras destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
  • Sargeras can lick his elbow.
  • Sargeras doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Sargeras has allowed to live.
  • When Sargeras jumps in water, he doesn't get wet. Water gets Sargeras.
P.S. I would come out of nowhere lightning fast and kick Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass.

heya dark overlord.
i was thinking the other day, we where capable of beating your little minion KJ. And since our powers are evergrowing, as we continiue to kill and loot enemies beyond our wildest dreams. (such as yogg-saron). Is it possible we one day will come and kill you? I mean you havnt destroyed our planet yet... So its proberly only a matter of time before some random person slays you and take your throne isnt it?

p.s have you ever eaten a gnome? And if so was it delicius?
p.s.s sorry i have talked in brocken common but it is not my native tounge

- Tamenka, tauran and eater of gnomes

Yeah, your power level is increasing all the time, but I'm above your horizontal asymptote.

P.S. I eat tauren.

Dear Sargeras,

I was wondering. Do you feel any competition from Algalon? I mean, He's like the Titans poster boy for planetary things. Sure, he just goes back and TELLS the titans if a planet needs re-rolled, but don't you think at some point, he's going to decide to roll some planets on his own, and thus be competition for you?

Are you jealous that while you are burning hot, and infinitely large, that he is in fact, probably bigger, because he's a constellation? If you do have a problem with it, why aren't you in Ulduar kicking his ass yourself?

Oh and could you let me know where you plan on striking first on Azeroth? I want to be there. We have some unfinished business to attend to.

That Blood Elf you wont let work for you.

This is the perfect example of how the Titans pussyfoot around about everything. They want to blow up planets, but boo hoo hoo, they feel so much guilt about killing little they come up with these justifications like "eliminating corruption." Maybe they should try eliminating their own stupidity (oh BURN!).

As for Algalon, he loses to a raid party. A raid party. No offense, but look at your raiding group and tell me honestly - if these guys can beat up Algalon, do you really think I consider him competition?

First strike on Azeroth will be precisely 12.38 leagues northwest of where you least expect it.

Almighty Fiery One~

Have you read the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? If so, what are your thoughts on it? And do you happen to know The Ultimate Question? I mean, you're a Titan...It's possible.

Kuyleh of Alexstrasza

Already answered this one.

Greetings Lord S of keeping the microwave useless.

Once again I write to ask you two questions.

#1 Do you wear sandals? If not, do you pay special head to destroying people who wear them first?
#2 How long did it take to write just one book of your collection? Because the paper must burst into flames.#

Good luck with destroying your next planet and species.

Matt A. Dixon

I'm really, really hoping you meant to type "heed" in that first question. Don't make me add another rule to my list. Anyway, yeah, I wear sandals on Casual Fridays, but listen up peeps, I don't wear socks with 'em, y'hear?

As for the book, um, obviously it was written on SPECIAL PAPER

Anyway, it's been real. Catch you cats later, I've got a village to pillage! And of course "village" means "inhabited world." And of course "pillage" means "turn into little tiny ashes."



Anonymous said...


I pray you do not give special head to sandal wearers.

Also, kudos for using asymptote in a sentence! (I took pre-calculus last year… but sadly that knowledge is wasted since you will merely annihilate me.)

Anthony Clarke said...

Loving the ultimate showdown reference there, sarge. I should've sent a question in. D:

Selaris said...

Uh-oh...I asked a bad question. Does that mean I get smited? >.>

Sargeras' cat said...

Do you ever plan on feeding me? Like really, ever?

Sargeras said...

@ diljabar: Woo, pre-calc! Rock on, my friend. Calculus is even more fun in my opinion.

@ AC: Well, yead. It is the ULTIMATE showdown after all!

@ Selaris: Dunno, which one was yours?


Warraven said...

Thorim wears sandals. He also does not wear pants. And his kilt is way too damn short.

...I'm gonna go drink some bleach now.

Selaris said...

Kuyleh. Why don't you feed your cat...?

Nyaz said...

Wait, who says a book has to be written on PAPER? Couldn't it just be written on, say, iron?

Otome said...

You have a cat?
Your a freaking Fallen Titan and herald of apocalypse. Why do you have a cat?

Eonar said...

Its probably true, you would kick his ass lightning fast.
You do everything lightning fast........

Your brother is a lot better......

Sargeras said...

@ Warraven: Nooo not the bleach! Think happy thoughts. Happy thoughts! Nobody gets to kill you but me!

@ Selaris: The rumors of me having a cat are greatly exaggerated.

@ Otome: Well played.

@ Eonar: Good... hope you enjoy helping him take out his dentures every night.

Warraven said...

Sargeras... are... are you being... possessive here!? Well, sorry, but my raid group has a prior claim to my totems. You'll have to fight them over it.

gmon said...

give head. heh.

btw, those cookies look like slices of meatloaf. is that good or bad? :\

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