Monday, June 1, 2009

Sonnet contest!



Have you found yourself thinking, "Gee! I sure would love to have a Spider Pride T-shirt or one of the other fine items on the Coffee With Sargeras store, but I can't afford any of it because it's all so absurdly overpriced?"

Have you further opined, "I wish I could procure such merchandise for myself, for free, via some sort of ridiculous contest that submits my hard work to the arbitrary whims of someone I've never met?"

Well, hypothetical reader, your improbable wishes have finally come true! I hereby announce the first ever (and possibly last ever) Coffee With Sargeras Sonnet Contest!

So what exactly can I win?

First place - you get your choice of any single item from the store, FREE.
Second place - you get your choice of any single item from the store, other than a shirt, FREE.
Third place - you get your choice of a button or a magnet from the store, FREE.

I will of course cover the shipping charge as well. Free actually does mean free.

I guess I have to write, like, a sonnet or something?

Yes. To enter the contest, you must write a sonnet about me (Sargeras) and e-mail it to me.

All right, what are the rules?

OFFICIAL CONTEST RULES

1. You must write your own sonnet (no plagiarism).
2. The sonnet must be in English. I'm not going to disqualify you if you include a phrase from Latin or something, but don't expect to win if you write 14 lines of masterful poetry in Tagalog.
3. The sonnet must be about me (Sargeras).
4. Limit one sonnet per person. Any new sonnets you send me after the first one will be ignored.
5. Once you've submitted your sonnet, no revisions are allowed.
6. The sonnet must be submitted via e-mail. Submissions via Facebook message, blog comment, or anything else other than e-mail will be ignored.
7. All entries must be submitted on or before June 15, 2009.
8. Include the phrase "Sonnet contest entry" or something similar in the subject line.

Do I have to be a regular blog reader to enter?

Of course not. How would I know if you weren't, anyway?

I'm not from the United States. Can I still enter?

Yes. As long as you live somewhere that Zazzle ships to (which is almost everywhere in the world), you can enter. If you live somewhere Zazzle doesn't ship to, then you can still enter, but, uh, you won't get a prize.

(Please note, the list I linked to above is very stupidly arranged, in that it is mostly but not totally in alphabetical order. If you don't see your country right away, do a search on the page.)

Does the sonnet have to be funny? Do I have to write about how awesome you are?

No and no. There are no restrictions on content or style beyond the simple rule that it must be a sonnet about Sargeras, the Dark Titan. Be creative.

How picky are you going to be about the definition of "sonnet?"

I'm not going to disqualify you for having an extra syllable somewhere, or for not using a proper volta. Experimentation with the traditional idea of a sonnet is permitted within reason, but the further you stray from the usual definition of sonnet, the less likely it is I'm going to allow it. Basically, don't write a limerick, is what I'm asking for here.

How are you going to judge the entries?

I'm just going to pick the ones I like best. I don't have a particular set of criteria I plan on using.

Isn't that inherently arbitrary and biased?

Yes.

Any advice on writing a winning sonnet?

Be different. The first idea you have is likely the first idea everyone else will have, too, so think outside the box. That said, don't come up with something so bizarre that it's just stupid.

I'm also a sucker for technical excellence. Meaning, if you get your rhyme and meter dead solid perfect, I'm somewhat more inclined to overlook other flaws.

Are you going to post the winning sonnets on the blog?

Yes. If you're not comfortable with your sonnet being displayed on the blog, you probably shouldn't enter.

I have another question that you didn't answer!

Well, just ask!

That June 15 deadline will come sooner than you think, so get started now. Best of luck! >>}8^O

24 comments:

Jeza said...

Sargeras, where are you getting these girls from to pose for you? Everyone knows girls don't exist on the interwebs.

Storoxe said...

I acutally thougt you had a new scourge chat log coming when you promised something today :(
Doesn't matter though, will be interesting to see the winners ^^

Anonymous said...

Yay for contest.

Just .. sonnets .. bah, I've always been bad at those.

Sargeras said...

@ Jeza: I had Pixar create her for me in their spare time since they finished Up.

@ Storoxe: After I went to all the trouble to leave a comment about it and everything? ;-)

@ Anon: "Always"? How many have you tried?

Aeltyr said...

(Anon here - wasn't actually trying to be anonymous >>)

We had to write a few in high school and they were always so-so :p

Though that may have something to do with Dutch being a bit of a crappy language to write in IMO v.v

bigfootgolem said...

A sonnet eh... I might be able to come up with something...

Enjai said...

I must argue with the comment about women not existing on the interwebs .... the e-porn industry has proven they do. Female *gamers* on the other hand ... total myth.

As for a sonnet? Sargeras is truly evil. He knows that was the one part of all my english classes I failed at. Long live the evil overlord!

Nyaz said...

Fine, so I can't get the girl for free. Can I purchase her at the store, though?

Sargeras said...

@ Aeltyr: Can't say I know much about Dutch, but 27 million speakers can't all be wrong, can they? ;-)

@ Enjai: Part of the trick with poetry is to let loose and have some fun with it. A blog contest might be conducive to better writing than an English class!

@ Nyaz: Sure, but the shipping may be expensive...

Lx said...

I wonder if the Dark Titan can keep up the destroying of worlds and all, think he will have plenty of sonnets at hand to read and judge

Anonymous said...

Sargeras, have you ever written any sonnets yourself??? Perhaps you could post one as an example/inspiration for those of us who are poetically disadvantaged......

Sargeras said...

@ Lx: Let's hope so!

@ Anon: Yes...if only there were some sort of "search" feature, or alternatively, some kind of "tag" system, that would allow you to find my sonnets on this blog... ;-)

Ariedan said...

Aw, damn it. I wish I could entry, but I'm last person to ever be considered a poet. I'll definitely be interested in seeing the results, though!

Ariedan said...

Hum. You might want to tell Brian his layout is broken! It's acting all wonky in both IE and Mozilla. :(

Sargeras said...

@ Ariedan: Yeah, the layout was acting up earlier, but seems to have fixed itself. My guess is a hiccup on my image provider's server.

I do find it hard to believe, though, that with all the great writing you do, you couldn't put a few rhymed verses together... ;-)

Anthony Clarke said...

I thought the suprise was something else. I guess that'll come later, then.

Ariedan said...

@ Sargie
No. Just no. I don't do poetry! Just imagining writing poetry is ludicrous. *shudder*

Sargeras said...

@ Anthony Clarke: Eh? No, this was it...

Firefly said...

@ Sargeras, who (regarding Dutch), said "27 million speakers can't all be wrong, can they?"

62,040,610 people voted for Bush in 2004. So, yes, they can.

Jae said...

Just checking: are you expecting proper iambic pentameter with A-B-A-B rhyme scheme, or can we stretch into more free verse?

Jae said...

Never mind, I missed where you talked about form in the rulez. >.>

gmon said...

"2. The sonnet must be in English. I'm not going to disqualify you if you include a phrase from Latin or something, but don't expect to win if you write 14 lines of masterful poetry in Tagalog."

wow, are you familiar with the dialect or did you just random that out?

how are the entries coming? :D

Sargeras said...

I wouldn't say I'm "familiar" with it, but I have been to Manila and actually have an (incredibly cheap and worthless) English-Tagalog dictionary.

I've actually gotten quite a few entries...most of them in the last 24 hours. :-) Have you submitted anything yet?

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